nutritional fanaticism

I have been in a mental frenzy this week because my energy level is really low, I feel nauseated, my head hurts, my sleeping is off--so clearly I must have some sort of nutritional deficit. I frantically recall the last time I had my blood work done for this very reason (2 months ago), and before that (2 months ago), and before that (2 months ago)...and I could go on. Last week, I paid 5 medical bills. Yes, FIVE. I have the health care routine of a senior citizen. (By the way, every time I come out well and healthy)

So amidst my compulsive google searches and related inquiries, I finally stopped, took a moment, and asked myself, WHAT THE FUCK?

Hunter-gatherers and nomads and cave people did not have food pyramids, had no idea what a mineral was, did not have a continuous and well-rounded dietary repertoire, went through periods of famine and what not--and we somehow evolved into where we are today. Like Neanderthals were getting all of their omegas, and our brains continued to develop!

It really is a recent historical luxury and phenomenon that one can sit and contemplate how much B12 and vitamin fuck-me-in-the-ass one receives daily. I feel like this has created entirely new paradigms of health and wellness that never existed before.

I mean, really, life apparently went on for millions of years without daily supplements.

So I am repeating this to myself to placate my unrelenting concerns over my own physical health. The funny thing is that I am so sure that this is FINALLY it, I ACTUALLY have something really wrong--I have NEVER felt this way before. But after explaining my symptoms to Monika, she just replied casually, "You're nervous."

Bewildered, I ask her, "You feel these same XYZ symptoms?"

Again, "Yeah, when I'm nervous."

I think it is really hard for me to accept mental and emotional strain on the body--I am always searching for some physical or empirical reason for everything.