The secret lives of married men--and women

In his article featured in the Huffington Post, The Secret Lives of Married Men, the author describes the Spitzer situation as no surprise, but instead a common need for sexual variety felt by married men. Then he quotes a psychologist that explains how honest and open relationships are happier than those ridden with guilt and lies, or those truly monogamous ones that are crippled with resentment and boredom.

That is all fine and dandy, but I am offended that this is labeled as simply a male desire. While true statistics of infidelity will never be available, if there is a disparity, it is only because women are socialized to suppress and be shameful of sexual desire and fantasy. Not to mention this is coupled with a sense of self that is predicated on satisfying others and never one self. Therefore, a typically socialized female could in theory be less likely to act out her desires for sexual variety, as she had traumatized her sexual exploration long ago, and may be more compelled by the romance of "happily ever after" than her need to tap someone else.

But this is one scenario for a woman who has absorbed the typical female script, and regardless, lots of women cheat.

The need for sexual variety is valid in all sexual beings, despite genitals or gender identification.

Also, the author finishes his slanted piece by romanticizing himself as a polyamorist, which he confuses with the practice of getting lots of ass aside from his spouse. Polyamory is characterized by multiple meaningful relations--it's not a pretty word for swinging.