Tuesday, July 22, 2008


In yoga today, my instructor recounted her teacher's response to the question, "How often do you practice yoga?" Her answer: "Everyday, all the time, for 30 years."

The answer was not meant to imply practicing yoga physically everyday, but rather living a life style in sync with the yoga philosophies of mindfulness and being present.

I know I do not get very personal on The Colonic, but let's throw it all out there--I have a lot on my plate and I could use some release. I listened to the anecdote and was both happy and sad at the same time. More than anything, though, I just wanted to cry. It's possible to be present? It is so hard for me, despite my miles and miles of internal work, to remain present. In fact, most times I am detached from reality and completely lost in my head.

Overcome with that sudden feeling that I am missing out on my life because so much of myself is locked in my thoughts, I somehow was able to absorb the fact that a lifestyle of mindfulness is truly possible--despite my own historical tendencies--and that I will keep (bless my little heart) trying.

I had a great yoga class and was feeling wonderful afterward. Yet here I am, nearly 2 am, unable to sleep, stuck up in my head. Finally, I began to re-live today's experience, and I thought I would blog about it, and then tuck myself in bed and be present in the moment. No cyclical thoughts, no re-thinking checklists, no schedule breakdowns over and over, no re-hashing the trajectory of current personal issues--nothing.

Hopefully this way I can fall asleep.

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