The Colonic is really slacking. I've been slaving away doing legal research for a predictive memo.
Perhaps if I had the time, I would tell the story of how I was pied with dead animal flesh this weekend. While this was particularly offensive and disgusting for a vegan to endure, I imagine anyone would be disheartened to get baconed.
Slaughtered pig aside, the gravamen of the offense was the utter disregard of my boundaries and sense of bodily security.
Back to work.