good morning, sunshine

I am putting this up for discussion, because the whole thing seems strange to me:

I use my cell phone as a back-up alarm clock, but the feature is tied to my phone schedule--so to set an alarm I write a little something-something in the time slot.

And the funny thing is, every time I write "wake up, skank."

For the life of me, I have no idea why I call myself skank every morning in my alarm. I don't think I'm a skank...I don't believe in these imaginary social categories...

Clearly, the river runs a little deeper than a minor dose of self-denigration. It's almost as if I think this is funny and also more commanding and therefore stresses the urgency of getting up.

Also, "go to the gym, bitch" has an occasional cameo on my cell schedule.

Now that I am writing this...I guess it really is self-denigration to bully myself into doing something in a way that I think is perversely funny.

I only write about these seemingly trivial and spasticated nuances in the life of Vanessa because I love to explore the nooks and crannies of the topsyturvy experience of being raised female (and I don't mind being up for dissection).

On the whole, what I am talking about is different from, but still related to, the typical scenario wherein women call girlfriends all sorts of fun names.

Example: "Monika, you're such a ho--just come with me!"

I am going to challenge myself to not say ho, skank, bitch or cunt for an entire day. (Ideally I would suspend usage for a lifetime...but I would much rather take it day by day and digest the experience to cultivate an understanding and cemented desire of my opposition--instead of the tyrannical prohibition of my own right to free speech in the hollow name of its implications)