Operating within mainstream cultural frameworks, female sexuality (in this context meaning biologically female with a "feminine" gender performance) never wins. Consider the options:
1) As a female, your sexuality is repressed and/or heavily regulated (I won't even get into the whys and the hows)
2) As a female having and acting out on sexual desire, you are "shamed" through pejoratives and other degrading remarks.
3) As a female, an expression or discussion of sexuality is an attempt to gain (male heterosexual) attention.
4) As a female, whatever your sexual preferences are, they are undermined as your authentic desires and instead cast as having been shaped by an all-pervasive male sexuality and patriarchal order.
I am not denying that some or all of these factors may be applicable to varying degrees in varying circumstances, but I resent the fact that all of these factors are active within the hegemonic mind at all times.
Give a girl a break.