As I was watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants last night, I took a moment to think about what happened to my friendships. I still have a great circle of best friends--but it is much different than it used to be in high school. No more calling each other 45 times a day, reporting back and forth details of the day, sleepovers, daily laugh attacks, lounging around watching tv and reading. Is it that we all grew up and we are busier?
No. Well that could be a small part. But I look back and realize that I had replaced those intimacies formerly reserved for girlfriends with boyfriends. A year and a half with one, and a year with another. And then I thought--what bull shit.
All of that bonding time, and for what? Neither one will speak to me--one for reasons that have been explained, and the other...who the hell knows.
I guess that I am just mad at myself. How did my long-term investments of best friendships morph into these short-term boyfriend best buddies, with my real best friends becoming a side dish? I should have kept a better balance. What a rip off. Cumulatively, I committed 2.5 years of my life to people who are currently yielding ZERO return. That's just bad business.
As for my best friends? We are still laughing about things that happened 3, 4, 5, even 6 or more years ago.
I have to say, it may have taken 21 years, but I am so happy to be single. And I am so happy that I switched boyfriend best buds back in for my real best friends.
And yes, I am going to stoop really low right now and quote Big, but "a guy is just lucky to come in fourth."