white teeth, the microphysics of power, and the skewing of self

Each day that I live my life and as a born and raised Los Angelina, I cannot help but remark at my own internalization of gendered relations of power, my active participation in such relations, and my chronic self-regulation. This is what Foucault means in his concept of the microphysics of power--how we police our own bodies when no one is watching because we have actually absorbed relations of power. Think panopticon.

But what I am most fascinated with, beyond the actual process of internalization and self-surveillance, is how these evolve to skew perceptions of self in ways that are bizarre (and largely gendered)

I was reminded of all of this once more in a heated discussion I had with Monika about the color of our teeth. There are a few points I need to get at:

a) I am one detail-obsessed critter, and I can tell you that Monika has some fucking WHITE teeth.
b) Monika's teeth have become progressively and undeniably whiter over a process of whitening, but she absolutely cannot perceive this. This is why we argue--because I see the difference and she can't.
c) Monika is convinced that my teeth are whiter than hers. I am convinced of the opposite.

And this is the kicker...

d) I explain to Monika that she thinks that my teeth are whiter because she is focusing on my front teeth. I then go into a detailed explanation of the progressive changes of color and contour in my enamel extending backward from my two front teeth.

It really struck me how much I have absorbed image-orientation, to the extent that I can map out nuance in the shades of my chompers. I can do that with every physical attribute I possess.

I am still humored by the passionate disagreements that I have with Monika. We both insist that the other one severely needs help and is desperately out of touch with reality (not that I particularly believe in reality...but that is for another post).

However, as I am the self-appointed authority on the matter, I hereby proclaim in public forum that Monika's teeth are not only one consistent shade of bright white, but also much whiter than mine.

The fact that we continue to debate such reflects our adherence to a culturally sanctioned heteronormative script of femininity that has wound us up in obsessive minutiae and thrown-off our perception of self.